Thursday, October 29, 2009
- Spring cleaning...
After receiving a certain comment that my blog was collecting way too much dust, I decided to start a major cleaning session for my dearest blog. So many things has happened during the meantime, and I am literally dying to get it off my chest.
I would like to tell you about something which is currently contributing to my stress and extra wrinkles. This is regarding the very extremely prompt marriage arrangements being pre-made for Dear and me.
Everything is like so complicated and all these issues make up the voices which are either shouting or complaining in my head now! Here we go...
From Dear's family side:- Afraid something might happen to great grandmother, as she is considerably aged already! And then we have to wait another 3 years before we can get married.
- They want to let his great grandmother see the oldest great grandson to be married off! [Dear being the great grandson]
- 6th December is truly a HOT date!!! Practically 1/5 of Singapore is getting married on this day!!!
- Rushing into marriage preparations which were actually planned for two years later.
- They can't get their points 100% clear to my mum.
My family side:
- My mum thinks we don't trust each other.
- She feels it's too in a rush to get married.
- She thinks that, Dear's parents never considered our feelings and future!
- She said it in this way that; I never said no or objected to you marrying him BUT... And here it comes... She still feels we need at least one more year to know each other better.
- Doesn't fully understand the situation going on.
My brain:
- Full of ARGHHHH noise and voices of both families in my head!
- All this is making me feel so pressurised and stress!
- Stress led to serious stomach aches and insomnia...
- I really want to spend my life with Dear.
- A wedding for me, means bliss, but my environment is making it otherwise...
- SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! [and that someone who is so essential to this marriage thing, isn't even here to help me. I thought it was supposed to be a 2 man show when it comes to a wedding, not a 1 man show...]
- I need to do fitting of gowns, look for rings, find a venues for ROM, arrange school meetings, doing a community event, finding a job, trying to finish assignments, have to concentrate on FYP and so many many more!!!!!!!!!!!!
- [All this is is a combination of the above 2 plus my own thoughts...]
But one thing is for sure... Dear your mine! And you'll always be! No matter what others say or do! You're stuck on me! Let this marriage be our happy bliss... <3
Chapter 2~
There has been one thing really annoying me the past week, apart from all my love cum marriage life. It's the fact, that I am keep being told that my Mandarin is weird. Which ya like duh! I know very well it is weird... But it is simply so discouraging to keep being told that I sound weird. It just make me feel more like giving up on speaking Mandarin, I don't even want to attempt anymore.
DO YOU KNOW I AM TRYING REAL HARD TO LEARN MANDARIN?!!! I AM DOING MY VERY BEST AND IN ALL MY POWER TO CATCH UP WITH MY LOST YEARS IN SINGAPORE!!!
You know... The feeling is like quite hurt and like scathing my pride in a way too. It is like telling a Singaporean; " You're English is so WEIRD with all your lah leh loh lei's! It is best you do not speak English, because honestly speaking, you're English seriously sucks like rocks!"
How would you feel, if you were that person? It is like so corroding the bit of pride you have of being bilingual right?
Chapter 3~
Anyway, it is seriously getting late right now, and I should tuck myself into bed before I am really declared with insomnia. Good night darling readers! Take care!
*Mummy, please give me your blessing?*
Dear&Dar
9:27 PM
Thursday, October 1, 2009
- Just that...
... one word to describe my feelings now...
They're totally overpowered by... being...
worried...
tired...
||| *Life... Isn't it just full of twists & turns... Never once straight...* |||
Dear&Dar
11:12 PM
Dear
December 2007