Haiz! I hate Fridays and it's lessons.
I totally dislike VB and mathematics.
But most of all I don't like C*** W**L**!!!
For those in E35J (my class), will know who
I am referring to. =(

Notifying notice: Do you notice that actually
I always type about my yesterdays. Oww anyway,
it doesn't really matter.

I think I hurt him, or at least I did something bad.
I just do not know how to express myself in
verbal ways. He can, I envy him for that really.
I wish I could do that too, so that I do not need to
make him wonder so much about what I am
trying to say. Making things so difficult...
Why am I such an introvert? Though I have improved
a lot since I have come to Singapore. Not praising
myself or something, but I really did. I hope so at least.


Since I met him, I have talked more about my
thoughts than usual. Even schooling at Poly has
helped me to some extent. Still, until now, I feel
that I can only create problems. It is best no one hangs
around me for too long. I would only hurt them...
I do not want that anymore... No more...

Then there is another thing which bothers
me a lot. Why don't I know when people like
me or like like me? Am I truly blind or just dumb?
I feel so stupid!

Why can't I simply have guy friends, without
them getting the wrong message? Am I truly so
damned blind???

Also I am scared that Dear will get jealous if I have
some guy friends which I am close to. I mean... Haiz...
I just do not know how to deal with things already.
Feel so tired these days. I am drained.

Everyday, my Mum will quarrel with my brothers.
Have to listen to her whining, nagging and bla-bla.
Money problems are not making things easier too.
I am the only one working, but it seems I do
not have anything much to give my family. I am
so useless...

='(

I wish that someday soon I will get the courage
to speak up and let go of those crappy feelings.

I love my Dear, my family and the friends that
have been by my side in difficult times.
They have made me what I am today! I would have
been even more damned without them.

Dear&Dar 9:29 AM